Well helloooo again... back for more rants & ravings! You know, after all tat has happened in my life,this year, I set out to be a better person... especially in terms of temper & mood swings. In a nutshell, I just decided to be Nice,Honest,Kind & Patient as best as I possibly can and if I have to say so myself.. I'm doing pretty well except when I'm driving of course.. LOL. & I also set out to be more open, more expressive of my feelings & my appreciation for others rather than being tight lipped & egoistic with compliments.Trust me when I say I suck at giving due credits & giving compliments but then considering I also suck at receiving compliments then I suppose it's fair.. Haha.( yeah right! ;p) I'm the type of person tat has high expectations of myself & of others.. and usually people come out short, myself included. Which makes giving compliments tough. On top of that, I don't like to flatter or "kipas".. Urghhhh allergic and tat's why I hardly compliment.. to not be mistaken as I'm "kipasing' someone. But hard as it is.. I push myself and to make it easier, I use logical thinking. My logical thinking says tat it's okay to compliment someone if it's the truth & I'm sincere about it. So if it's sincere and it's the truth therefore I'm just stating facts! There.. problem solved! But mind you.. if it's the truth but I hate your guts or I just don't feel like it which means I'm not sincere then better not hold your breath!!! No matter how good or how gorgeous or how anything! Hey I'm not perfect & I don't claim to be but at least I'm trying to change! So there.. ;p
I bet you're wondering where all this raving & self confession is leading to.. eh! Well, I'm on a quest of self discovery & self awareness which hopefully will lead to self medication.. Hahaha. Don't get me wrong k! LOL. Anyway...All this ranting is actually me trying to force myself to open up, face the facts, face whatever issues/ shadows or demon tat I keep bottled up inside. To do that, I figure the first step is for me to know myself, to admit to my faults & blemish, my weaknesses. To come clean with myself. I'm trying to heal myself by opening up & by being aware of who I am, what I am. Trying to make peace with myself so to say.. Well the saying goes, if u want to achieve a goal then u have to put pen to paper.. well figuratively speaking tat's what I'm trying to do. Well...Fingers crossed or the term my friend wants me to use.."open palm". or better still.. InsyaAllah which means with God's Willing.
