You are my sunshine...... ;-)

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I'M BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKkkkkkkkkkkkkkk... ;-)

Hey hey hey.. wassup everybody????  Don't mind the cobwebs, the occupant of tis blog has been MIA for wayyyyyyyyyyy too long.. sorry bout tat.. been too caught up with life until finally life gave me a big kick in the *tooot*!!! now I'm back... and I need to blow off steam therefore this blog is changing from informative to PERSONALLLLLLLLLLLL... so bear with me k.. I'm gonna be sharing with u guys my personal thoughts and feelings.. won't be easy since I like to keep my feelings bottled up but then I'm close to exploding and I need to unload...!!!

It's been officially 28 days today that I have been curled up in a ball, licking my wound and feeling depressed and sorry for myself.. It's not like I haven't been down before.. ever since 2005 when I choose to leave my comfort zone in the search of something more out of my life, my life really did move into discomfort zone!   It has definitely been a roller coaster ride with more down slope than up.. and when I finally got a break early tis year.. thought tat finally I've paid my dues and my luck's finally changed and life is gonna get easy for a change so I put my guard down and enjoy the ride then BANG... I got hit.. again.. blindsided really.. put my trust in a 'Friend" tat played me big time... now I feel like I'm going thru a free fall... falling fast!!!  Wats different tis time around is tat.. I can't stop the fall..  I no longer have the energy to try to break the fall, to stop falling, to rise up and start climbing again.. I'm just too tired...  somewhere in me.. knows tat I need to stop free falling hence this post I guess but then the rest of me.. especially my heart.. just wanna continue to curl up and have nothing to do with the world...  which is getting scary and definitely escalating the fall further... I really don't know wat to do.. hopefully by unloading my woes here... I can clear away some of the pressure and find myself again... though as I'm writing tis.. I'm full of doubts... God help me...  I'm freezing up inside....

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