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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Letting Go Of Anger....

Hey hey hey.. Happy Wednesday.  It's me again the ever absent landlord of this cobweb infested blog.. ;-) I'm back and this time I wanna share my thoughts on something that I've learned this morning.. what's it about???? 

Well, this morning I came across a live webcast by Oprah and her guest, relationship expert Iyanla vazant and the topic today was about " Letting Go Of Anger".  Well with whatever tat is going on in my life now.. I most certainly have a lot of pent up anger to let go.. and guess what i've learned... turns out tat human has only 2 emotions which is love and fear. Anger is actually a manifestation of fear and there are 4 types of primal fear:
 1) The fear of losing someone's love or having ur love rejected.
 2) The fear of being powerless or helpless, vulnerable.
 3) The NO.1 human addiction is CONTROL. therefore The fear of losing control, of urself, of  
     others, of whatever tats happening- sends human ego into total meltdown!!
 4) The fear of not being seen as valuable, important, necessary.

What happen is tat, anger is a manifestation of one of those fears such as when the fear of being vulnerable which for our ego means weak, then we automatically wants to maintain control but when we can't control the somebody or everything tats happening then there's a fear there, tats what takes us into anger.

The question tat was asked was "What is holding u back in your life right now? Is it anger or something from your past???"

Another thing about anger is that you are never angry for the things tat u think you are.. ever! something must have happen in your life that has left an impression on your soul and whenever something or a trigger tat bring about the memory of the first impression then the anger rise up. Because all of us are not born with anger. So we have to understand tat whatever tat cause the anger to rise up is just a trigger but not the actual cause of the anger.The trigger is actually a reminder tat there is something in us, deep inside that needs to be handled. So, what needs to be done is to rise above the anger and look deep inside to see what is actually the fear. Rise above the anger to see the hurt & the pain tat is underneath which is the real issue and solve it once and for all... 

Hmmm... now all these have start me thinking about my life and how I go about it. And looks like I have to do some serious and honest digging inside, a real soul searching if I ever wanna  get out of the rut that I'm in now or to stop myself from repeating the same mistakes & failure over and over again. With each mistakes & failure, I'm getting angrier with myself and the world.  I keep digging myself deeper and deeper into a hole and It's getting a lot tougher for me to push myself out.. which is what is happening to me right now. For the first time, I'm truly stuck and clueless on what to do to get myself out of the mess that I'm in. And now I at least know what the real problem is, I have always hide behind my anger and whatever tat triggers it instead of handling the real problem. And the solution is by handling and conquering all the fears and hurt that is inside me. Ya Allah, give me the strength for I know that my biggest enemy in finding the solution is MYSELF!!!

Here's a quote that Oprah shared from 13 years back which has helped her to heal & move on. Maybe it can do the same thing for me & for you.... ;-)

How To Heal The Wounds Of Your Past.

"You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them."                                                                                                                                                                       —Iyanla Vanzant

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